Five Critical Times Every Day

Ever feel like a juggler in the circus?  You’re not alone.  Most of our schedules are so packed that family time is often reduced to logistics, shuttling kids from one activity to the next.  Even with a busy schedule, you can still connect with you children if you recognize the five critical times of every day.  Be a good steward of these times and your relationship will soar.  (Due to work schedules, you may not be present for all of these, so determine the ones that work and make the most of them.)  

1. Mornings

If possible, be there when the kids gets up.  This is a great time to create positive energy, discuss the plan for the day, give them a hug and send them on their way with an “I love you.”  It is important for children to leave for school or play with a full stomach and a heart full of love and confidence.

2. When They Comes Home From School (or Activities)

When kids come home from school you have 15-20 minutes to connect.  After that, they are off doing other things.  Be prepared with snacks, time, and open-ended questions.  “What was the best thing that happened today?”  “What did Mrs. Smith say about your project?  This brief time can be a gold mine of connection and information.  

3. When You Come Home From Work

If your children are already home when you get there, connect with them quickly.  They want to see you, even if they pretend they are not interested.  If possible, do something together you both enjoy.  If they are deep in study, a pat on the shoulder and a kiss on the top of the head can do the trick.  Even if you have had a bad day, try to focus on them for a few minutes before focusing on yourself.

4. Evening Meal

Make eating together in the evening a priority.  Whoever is at home eats together without the distraction of TV, computer, phones, and other devices.  Establishing a “no devices at the table” rule can make dinner a time to celebrate the family. 

During meals create intentional conversation.  Catch up on the activities of the day, talk about current events, or just enjoy being together.  Rose Kennedy, President John Kennedy’s mom, would place a newspaper article on the note board in the kitchen at breakfast.  At supper, everyone was to be ready to discuss it.  Make supper a time for free thought and exchange.  This fosters critical thinking skills that help your children become better students and problem solvers.

If friends visit keep the same dinner rules.  When our son’s friends visited for supper they often talked about how much fun supper was because of the lively discussion.

5. Bedtime

Bedtime is also an important time to connect with your children.  Depending on their age, reading a book or telling stories can be a great way to end the day.  Even when they are young, talking about the day’s event helps them reflect on their day.  It also helps you assess their emotional temperature and any concerns or anxieties they may have.  Simple concerns can seem like monsters to a six year-old.  Just like your plan when they come home from school, open-ended questions always work best.  “How is basketball practice going?”  “Which classes are easiest?”  “Anything you want to talk about?”   Simple open-ended questions open the door for them to share successes and concerns. 

Life may be busy but it doesn’t have to be empty. 

Connect and thrive!

by John Brantley