Something I Have Never Done Before

This Saturday I will do something I have never done before.  I will stand by our son, Tyler, as the best man at his wedding.  Pretty cool! 

Weddings create reflection for every parent.  Where did the 28 years go?  It seems like yesterday that I was holding him for the first time.  Memories have been bubbling up like a mountain spring the past few weeks. 

I will always remember the look on his face when he realized that the fly he was casting toward fish in Lake Burton was hooked in his jaw.  He was 6 at the time. It was our first father-son visit to the emergency room.  There would be more.

I first saw his inclination for all things athletic when he and I went rock climbing in the Pisgah Forest in Brevard, North Carolina.  It later showed up on the soccer field and finally found a home on the football field, where Tyler continued playing through college.

A highlight will always be our spring break roller coaster trip across central Florida. When Tyler was 13, he and I spent his entire spring break riding every roller coaster between Universal Studios and Busch Gardens!  It was a chiropractor’s nightmare and a father’s delight.

Maybe the big highlight for dad was the senior trip to France - just the two of us.  Ten wonderful and magical days split between Paris, Normandy, and Monte St. Michele.  Instead of hotels we chose bed and breakfasts in chateaus built in the 1500’s.  Lunch was always the same – a new baguette, cheese, grapes and occasional slices of beef.  But the location of lunch was always a treat; the Eiffel Tower, a bench outside of Notre Dame, a wall outside of Monte St. Michele.

There was lots of conversation, and also lots of silence.   Both were wonderful.  Hiking to top of Monte St. Michele, walking silently through the cemetery at Omaha Beach, laughing when I meant to say “goodbye” leaving a pub only to be told that I said “hotel.”

Then the memories turn to games - dozens and dozens of football and soccer games.  For twelve years we were there - standing on the sidelines, sitting in the stands, organizing parents, celebrating after a big win, and embracing after a hard defeat. 

The more I think about it, I realize that I have stood by him before, just not at a wedding.  That’s what we do as parents.  We are there; standing, sitting, cheering, laughing, and, at times, crying - being present in their lives as they grow. 

It is their job to grow.  Our job is to walk beside them, pick them up occasionally, lead them, and at times let them lead us - the whole time taking the journey together.

Thanks, Tyler, for the opportunity to walk beside you again.   


by John Brantley